Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Verizon sells Lightening Bolts?

So, we may have all seen this commercial before. A guy racing out to his mail box, really desperate for what's inside. We have some dramatic, heavy music playing like he's trying to make it to the battlefield in time. This is a man with a purpose, and that purpose is whatever is in that parcel he's clutching to his bosom.
He runs into a barn and hides himself away as he unwraps a a polished Mahogany box. Dude is breathing heavily, he opens it with baited breath. Light eminates from the box as...something starts to take shape, but we only see it from the mans back.
Next thing we see, our epic hero is striding out of the barn with a...Holy crap, is that a lightning bolt?!
The commercial ends with the guy stepping out of the barn and heaving the bolt into the heavens to...
What the hell was he throwing that thing at? Was there a Cyclops or a Hydra threatening the farmstead? Was he trying to jumpstart a transformer on a power line the Chuck Norris way?
He obviously had to purchase this thing, pay the billing, and then wait for the delivery-- I would imagine he signed for overnight-- and the first thing he does to throw it at someone or something. For all that, I would hope that it's not just a one-use item.

I'm stuck this morning trying to decipher what Verizon is trying to say with this in conjuction with their phones. The commercial (which I tried to find on Youtube, but failed, sorry on that) talks about how their network is fast. Fast like lightning? Does my Verizon phone come equipped with an emergency Zeus Mode in case I have to do battle with Titans? I really need a phone that's reliable when besieged by mythical beings.

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