In Memorial: Hangfire Jim lister

A writer and an artist draw their inspirations from many places. Be it some event they saw on their drive in to work, or something said or done by them or to them. It is the fuel of creativity. Sometimes, it is not positive events that give energy to the creative mind, but even this wood must the carver work with, or he'll always be stuck with that piece of wood until he does something with it.

This last Thursday, I lost my father. Him being 54, in the prime of life, working during his retirement days as an officer at ASU. He drank like a fish, but never seemed to have a hangover the next day. He was a hard worker, but cut loose with the best of them. He was worldly, he was tough. He was both a sinner and saint. He taught me the first dirty joke that got me in trouble in school. He was a lover of the Old West, and modeled himself as such. I will always believe that he was born in the wrong century for his genius and wisdom to have been truly appreciated.

It was way too soon for him to go, but who am I to question the decisions of the Divine?

He will be missed, but I have chosen to remain philisophical and calm, as he would like me to be. He walks a different road from me now, but one day our two roads will cross, and we'll continue on together to whatever lays beyond that next hill. But until that days comes, I have his lessons to live by, and his jokes to tell.

http://asunews.asu.edu/20101221_lister

--And when he gets to heaven, to St. Peter he will tell, "Another soldier reporting for duty, sir. I've done my time in Hell."

Verizon sells Lightening Bolts?

So, we may have all seen this commercial before. A guy racing out to his mail box, really desperate for what's inside. We have some dramatic, heavy music playing like he's trying to make it to the battlefield in time. This is a man with a purpose, and that purpose is whatever is in that parcel he's clutching to his bosom.
He runs into a barn and hides himself away as he unwraps a a polished Mahogany box. Dude is breathing heavily, he opens it with baited breath. Light eminates from the box as...something starts to take shape, but we only see it from the mans back.
Next thing we see, our epic hero is striding out of the barn with a...Holy crap, is that a lightning bolt?!
The commercial ends with the guy stepping out of the barn and heaving the bolt into the heavens to...
...
...
What the hell was he throwing that thing at? Was there a Cyclops or a Hydra threatening the farmstead? Was he trying to jumpstart a transformer on a power line the Chuck Norris way?
He obviously had to purchase this thing, pay the billing, and then wait for the delivery-- I would imagine he signed for overnight-- and the first thing he does to throw it at someone or something. For all that, I would hope that it's not just a one-use item.

I'm stuck this morning trying to decipher what Verizon is trying to say with this in conjuction with their phones. The commercial (which I tried to find on Youtube, but failed, sorry on that) talks about how their network is fast. Fast like lightning? Does my Verizon phone come equipped with an emergency Zeus Mode in case I have to do battle with Titans? I really need a phone that's reliable when besieged by mythical beings.

Gamers need to shut the hell up!

Does there exist a forum community somewhere out there on the internet where Gamers can commune and discuss their hobbies in a civil manner without the forbidden laws of the interwebs taking over and reducing everyone logged in into ranting nutjobs?

I will admit that I am not a part of a lot of online communities, possibly for good reason as my tolerance for people on message boards wears exceptionally paper thin incredibly fast, especially on gaming forums and communities. Double so when an anticipated game is still in the development stages. Oh, heavens, what is it that makes your average Gamer suddenly think he has a pipeline of influence into the makings of games? Called me old fashioned and uncreative, but I firmly believe that it's the Developers job to make the game, and it's my duty to pay them money to play it.
You don't badger an artist over what to put in his painting while he's working, do you? But apparently because we pay these people for our entertainment, normally $50-$60 fresh, we Gamers tend to have this complex in which we feel the Developers "owe us" in some odd way. I can safely tell you, true believers, that Developers owe us nothing.
While Developers may seek out player input from time to time, this does not mean the Developers are going to use us as their focus group and think tank. Developers have their own ideas. They have their own plans. They have their own vision. We gamers need to learn to shut up for a bit and let them express themselves.
I don't care how much money you pay for their work, it's their work. Let the Developers have their fun, and we have ours when they're done. How does that sound?

Splatterhouse...Starring Winnie the Pooh

Jim Cummings is the voice of the the Terror Mask in the new Splatterhouse game.

The voice of Disney's Big Pete, the current voice of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger, the Tasmanian Devil, Darkwing Duck, and a variety of other kiddie works, is the same voice as a foul mouthed Mask of bloodlust and evil.

Every time I play this game after hearing that voice, I'm now imagining Big Pete or Tigger demanding I dismember and destroy all in my path.
It is both awesome and unsettling at the same time. But way more awesome than unsettling.
It's a good game too, but isn't without it's F--- You moments. I haven't sworn this much about Bull-S--- cheaps deaths since the Hades level in the first God of War.

Where the deuce is my coffee?

I try very hard to keep this blog as un-wishy washy as possible. I feel that very few blogs, or at least the very successful ones can get away with being introspective. Every so often though something that was intended to be deep rather than informative or funy slips through the cracks. I would like to blame it on writing entries just after 5am.
An upside to waking up that early is, my brain is just addled enough that Facebook games become palleteable. Frontierville is still infuriating that you require the premium currency just to advance. Resturaunt City is trying to lure me in with Transformer-knockoff items. But I am a rock, if not anything. I'm one of those cheapskates who could spend good money on in-game items, but then again, what did I just buy? I just can't do it in good conscience knowing that money was spent on what was literally nothing.

Unstoppable, starring Not-Morgan-Freeman

In honor of my turning 26 yesterday, Jo treated me to an afternoon showing of Unstoppable. I wanted to se The Warriors Way, however Jade was quite clear that if me and Jo saw it without her that she would do us great bodily harm.
I'll admit, I wasn't originally taken by the premise- a runaway train barreling out of control and it's up to two men to stop it. Having not read any reviews and maybe all of one trailer, I was apprehensive. I was actually convinced it was a terrorism movie, since obviously if something terrible happens, it has to be terrorists. That's just common sense.
But no...No terrorists. Just outright human stupidity. The Antagonist is an unmanned train carrying highly toxic material that was set on it's corpse by a dumbass trainyard worker who looks like the lovechild of Kevin Smith and Michael Moore, and it's up to Captain Kirk and Denzel "Not Morgan Freeman" Washington to stop it before shit gets real.

It's a buddy movie, out and out, following the usual structure of both men being down on their luck in one fashion or another, and at the start they do not like each other but by the end their so buddy buddy you'd expect them to start kissing.

My reaction being...I liked it. I was not expecting it to be good, and was really expecting a drawn out terrorist attack movie containing a lot of stock footage of trains and tracks. Instead, I got a rather thrilling and "oh shit" inducing experience.

Now, I only refer to Denzel Washington in this movie as "Not Morgan Freeman" because, in this movie, there is very little separating him from a role usually suited for Morgan Freeman. Not that Denzel does a bad job. He does a marvelous job pulling off the close-to-retirement Train Engineer who may or may not be too old for this shit.

Yahtzee covers iPhone games

This morning's post was going to be another attempt at something introspective and deep, but then I realized that's not what you're here for. So, while I learn to stop turning my gaming/entertainment blog into an emo-fest, let me redirect your attention to "Is he British or is he Australian" Yahtzee's latest review.

Zero Punctuation: iPhone Games
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/2506-iPhone-Games

And for once, I have actually played all but one of the games he talks about. Yahtzee's the type that really reaches and clutches straws when it comes to trying to find something negative to say about games, but I like his delivery.

Minecraft. More like MineCRACK, amirite?

I have been playing a little game called Minecraft for about two months now. A lot of it. Chances are if you're reading this, you've heard of Minecraft and the digital crack that it can become. If not, then please direct yourself to this page, and get yourself acquainted with the Indy Game of the year.
It's truly an amazing game, and yet at the same time I keep talking about how it's hardly a game at all. It just barely qualifies for Game status in it's Alpha state, but it's fun seeing it evolve in real time every Friday when Notch, the creator, updates.
I was especially fond of his Halloween update in which he enabled the ability to create portals to a sort of hellish Underworld, and Jack-O-Lanterns.

There being no right or wrong way to play it, I do admit, I cheat like of a son of a bitch. I've been through enough worlds and terrains and caverns and wasted through enough stone pickaxes to despise the hunt for certain resources. I'd rather play with the system and toy around with what I can do, rather than the whole survival aspect of the game, and use an Inventory Editor to get a healthy dose of whatever I'm feeling I need.
And I doubt I am alone. If on Youtube you see anyone with really elaborate settups, you know they've cheated with resources. It's legit even still, but we're playing it with different goals than that of those who are playing it strictly for the day and night survival aspects.

So far, best $15 investment I've made in a long time.