Thursday, November 26, 2009

Saving the World with the Power of Love

My first character in Dragon Age: Origins, Dalvus Aeuducan, was an interesting characer. A member of the Noble Caste, who's personal story was one of redemption in the face of being a Kinslayer. But he was also a horndog. He would fuck anything and everything. Over the course of the story, Dalvus fathered an illegitimate child after a threesome during his origin story, was a regular customer at the Pearl Bar and Brothel in Denerim, was not afraid to seduce a guard out of his armor to bust out of prison, and even shagged two of his own team mates on the side while also toying with a bisexual Elven Assasin.
With all his debauchery, it wasn't just crude life-choices and whoring...his extravagant amount of love for all things saved the world.
As he battled the Archdemon atop Fort Drakon at the apex of his saga, Dalvus Aeducan used his masterful bedroom arts to slay the vile dragon-- By humping the Ballista's to fire harpoons at the Archdemon!

Okay, technically, it was more of an annoying auto-targeting issue. After each time I clicked the Ballista to fire on the Arch Demon, Dalvus would automatically target a Darkspawn who was nearby...actually clear across the other side of the zone. Thus behavior forced me to continually mash the A button, causing Davlus to jerk in place by the Ballista, garnering a rather hilarious "Humping" animation...and the killing animation he performed the Arch Demon was not made any more heroic as I made grunting and orgasm sounds from the couch, giving the mental image of the Dwarf on the screen "Face-Humping" the dragon to death, my friends on the couch also rolling around trying not to die from laughter.

So ended the saga of Dalvus...He made sweet love to the nation of Ferelden...He loved the fuck out of it.

No comments:

Post a Comment