Burning Digital Purgatory

I made the mistake of exploring the cheats in Saints Row 2 pretty early in the game. Denied all acheivements, I figured- Screw it, let's take this baby to the moon. Go all cheats, show these muthas who runs Stilwater. And last night I was on a spree with the Sons of Somedi missions, and I get to Crowd Control, and somehow, when I get set on fire, I remain on fire, and suddenly the game glitches in a way that the missions fails to continue. It was surreal, like I was trapped in some sort of video game purgatory, forever set ablaze with my homies standing nearby not aknowledging my plight. Contemplated giving them a friendly hug in my flamed state, but called it a day instead and watched naked people dance around on Travel Channel.

Remember kids: Civilized people + Nudity= Pornography. Aboriginal People + Nudity = Eh, it's cool. You know you're getting desperate when you see a cute South American Tribal girl walking around and you comment "Yeah, I'd hit that."

DLC's delayed, among other things.

Hey, and welcome to the flagship post of Phase One of the Fractured Transmissions project, I'm your navigator, James "Doctor Scraps" Lister.

So, by now those to whom it concerns have heard the news...Knothole Island for the Fable 2 and the long awaited GTA4 DLC have been pushed back...yet again...
According to the dev blogs from Lionshead Studios, there's a final coat of polish that needs to be applied before Knothole Islands is ready for the Marketplace. GTA's excuse, according to Play.tm, is that the publisher is simply looking to balance the release schedule, by delaying the episodic content to early 2009.

Now...as a consumer, and a lover of both games, mind you, I can see some validity in these decisions. At least where Fable 2 is concerned. If the content needs a little more working over, by all means, give it a little more time in the oven and make sure that it's done right. Of coure, the same can't be said in the case of GTA 4. Take Two? Rockstar Games? Just give us the damn content, alright? Why are you holding onto it for so long? You're aware that Saints Row 2 has already stolen most of your multiplayer base, and most of the GTA Gamers anyway. Are you trying to bury GTA4? That definately seems to be the case. Almost as if you'd rather it was swept under the rug and forgotten to pave way for other games.

Naturally, this is me venting my frustrations. As a gamer with a limited game budget, I get excited when I hear about new content, and actually feel a vein pulse in my forehead when, prior to the day of the release, I see a headline stating that it's been delayed. It's almost like you have to have put this sort of news on a Flicker page. I'll get over it, all the same. Definately no sense in hanging around in forums looking for kin just as outraged at your grievous wound.

Oh, and don't be looking to the Gamefaqs.com forums for solace, that fat group of assholes. I honestly believe there is a species of man that exists solely to troll forums looking for someone to zing, and it is on the Gamefaqs.com message boards that they make their nests. For every legitimate Thread Topic and response, there's a dozen if not more asshole posts just looking to waste time. But if you're like me, you're going to go to those boards anyway. We always come back. Because we as gamers are suckers for the same joke that gets told over and over again.

Well, that's enough nonsense for one night. This has been Doctor Scraps signing off. Keep it random, folks.